In the nearly two years since Morningside Village (MV) began connecting seniors with volunteer visitors and helpers, the “MV friend phenomenon” (MVFP) has emerged. To be expected! Over time, volunteers often feel very familiar with the senior whom they visit, for they have become close friends. For some volunteers, relationships with the elder are so familiar that they don’t always have the time or wish to write a monthly visiting journal, for our records. Although the MV coordinator keeps in close contact with elders and volunteers and although the MVFP can give the impression of blurring the line between volunteer and friend, we thank volunteers who nevertheless continue to provide us with important monthly visiting records!

I have just met with a visiting nurse practitioner, Mr. L., who told me that 6 months ago, when he met one of our seniors, he was planning to recommend hospice care and had discussed this with the geriatrician with whom he works. But, over the months, he has seen Mrs. S. make a “miraculous” recovery. She is engaged, smiling, coherent, and expressions of pain have subsided. He actually gave me a big hug and continued to say that he attributes this vibrancy to the wonderful and beneficial work of the nine Morningside Village volunteers who visit Mrs. S. on a weekly basis! I was not surprised. In some cases, when we began working with a senior, his or her family or the senior herself/himself had been talking about the bleak prospect of going into a nursing home. Now, instead, these same people are thriving in their own homes thanks to YOU, our 70 volunteers who are making a difference!! I am passing along that hug from Mr. L.

When I speak to people who have adult offspring and grandchildren and even great-grandchildren, the oldest ones often mention how busy their families are.   “How can they get to New York to see me when they have jobs and friends to keep up with?”  “How can they come uptown when they have classes to take and theatre to see?”  “How can they invite me to supper when they have such a small apartment?”  And, “Oh how busy they are!”  In fact, the word busy seems to ricochet from one wall to another in many a home where an infirmed nonagenarian may spend much of her or his time.  But is it any better in the typical nursing home?  Studies show that families are just as apt to be too busy to visit often and that commonly prescribed psychotropic medications can keep residents from socializing, even though they are living in close proximity.    For these reasons, of course, nearly 70 Morningside Village residents have made it a point to become busy helping our oldest neighbors to connect to the community and to find friends amongst us.  We do this in addition to our jobs, our classes, the films we see, our creative projects and the trips we take.  What we’ve learned is that there are all kinds of busy!

After our project was publicized through a CNN Heroes broadcast in June 2010, we  at Morningside Village wanted to respond to the inquiries from all across the country about how people could build such a village in their own communities.  We wrote and published (in November-December 2010) Guidelines to help you.  Here is a report from a reader in Southern California:
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Old Ed Robbins gave a little cry as he scrunched his 94-year old arthritic body to the edge of  the mattress, hoping to get to the bathroom in time.  After a nearly sleepless night, what with all the discomfort of a degenerating spine, he felt like hell.  Then there was Cooper waiting at the door already.  Living off of a narrow pension, he couldn’t really afford to pay anyone to walk the Shepherd that had kept him company for the past ten years, so even before heading to the kitchen to get breakfast going, not that he was hungry, he spent the next 40 minutes lasso-ing both feet with his pants sleeves over a back that could bend just so far, dressing, and getting the dog collared and leashed.
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Here’s a letter we received just this week from a Bostonian:

Hello Irene Zola,

I’ve just read about Morningside Village’s initiative to help the elderly, and I must say KUDOS! I wish like mad that your organization was available in Queens also, where my elderly parents live. They need help on a daily basis, very badly (there have been numerous falls, etc.), and neither I nor they can afford to pay for what they need. I live in Boston with my husband and daughter (my son is out of the country), and I run a business as well.  We get down to Queens about once a month, often mixing work and family for fast whirlwind turnarounds. I have pondered this situation for many, many years. (more…)